


don't hold on

by poisonrationalitie



Series: Harry Potter Expanded Universe [11]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Autism, Autistic Lisa Turpin, F/F, F/M, Female Friendship, Friendship, Hogwarts Fifth Year, POV Female Character, POV Lisa Turpin, Post-Break Up, Ravenclaw, Unrequited Crush
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-26
Updated: 2019-11-26
Packaged: 2021-02-26 07:21:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,144
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21569821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/poisonrationalitie/pseuds/poisonrationalitie
Summary: Georgina Runcorn goes through another break-up. Sally-Anne and Lisa have to help her. Lisa can't even help herself.
Relationships: Lisa Turpin & Sally-Anne Perks, Lisa Turpin & Sally-Anne Perks & Georgina Runcorn (OC), Lisa Turpin/Georgina Runcorn (OC), Lisa Turpin/Original Female Character, Original Female Character/Original Male Character
Series: Harry Potter Expanded Universe [11]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1052105
Kudos: 2





	don't hold on

**Author's Note:**

> For the Hogwarts Assignment #9, Beauty Therapy, Exfoliating Salt Scrub - Write About Letting Go of Something

“Sally-Anne’s right, you can’t control if he says sorry or not,” Lisa said, tapping her quill on her knee. “You just have to accept it.”

“But he  _ ought  _ to,” Georgina said, folding her arms across her chest. She was pacing in a circle around the little hideout the girls had made their own. Lisa rubbed her fingers on one of the throw pillows they’d bought with them, snuck out from Ravenclaw tower. It was velvety, and she liked the way it felt.

“It would be the right thing,” Sally-Anne agreed. “But you know how he is.”

“It doesn’t excuse it,” said Georgina. 

“We aren’t trying to excuse it,” Lisa said. “But it’s Roger. Everyone knows what he’s like.” Georgina sniffed, and delicately wiped a tear from beneath her eye. Her lips were swollen from crying, and her eyes were red-rimmed. She was still beautiful, though. She was considered among the likes of the Patil sisters and Daphne Greengrass among their year. Lisa would’ve hugged her, except there was only so much hugging she could take in a week before it became too much, and all of it had been used up on the very first day of Georgina’s break-up. The blonde favoured silky clothes, and the sound when they rubbed was like nails on a chalkboard. It made her hair stand on end, just thinking about it.

“Everyone knows what he’s like because he does it to everyone,” Georgina said, and then burst into tears. Sally-Anne looked at Lisa. Lisa blinked. Sally-Anne stood and wrapped Lisa into a hug, patting her on the shoulder.

“He didn’t deserve you,” she said. “I promise. Next time, you’ll find someone who cherishes you. You deserve to be  _ cherished,  _ Georgie.  _ Cherished. _ ” Lisa stared at the two of them. She wished she could cope with hugging Georgina more. Georgina was so small compared to her. It was like holding a porcelain doll. It made Lisa feel like she could save her from the world, maybe, just a little bit.

“I loved him.” Georgina wailed, and buried her face into Sally-Anne’s shoulder. It stung. Lisa clicked her tongue repetitively. Georgina had proclaimed herself in love with every boy she’d ever gone out with. Lisa had witnessed it firsthand. It didn’t make it any easier. It just gave her the necessary vocals so that the version of Georgina she saw in her dreams could say the very same thing. 

“You’ll love again,” Lisa said. “Roger isn’t the end of the world.” None of them were. They were just teenage boys that didn’t use enough deodorant when they played Quidditch. Georgina cried harder.

“I don’t  _ want  _ to love again! I want Roger!” At that very moment, Lisa could’ve shoved Roger off the top of the Astronomy Tower, on multiple accounts. Firstly, he had broken Georgina’s fragile heart. Furthermore, he had for the three months prior, paraded around with Georgina, shoving his tongue down her throat and his hands up her shirt on every possible occasion, and it had filled Lisa with a heat bubbling in her wrists. Finally, his hair had grown past the collar and he refused to tie it up or cut it, and it looked ridiculous. It was possibly the ugliest haircut she’d seen in her life, and her older brother had once had a short-in-the-front, long-in-the-back turnout. 

“Oh, Georgie,” Sally-Anne said. Lisa waited for her to continue the sentence. But she didn’t. She just sort of left it hanging there. Lisa rolled her quill between her fingers. They had a Charms assignment due soon, and she wasn’t even sure that Georgina had started it, with everything that was going on. She leaned over and flipped open her friend’s satchel, before pulling it onto her lap. She rummaged through. They hadn’t yet gone back to the common room after their day of classes, and so it was fairly full. There was only one textbook inside, and one working quill, though there were plenty of broken ones, and ripped out pages, scribbled on and scrunched.

“What are you doing?” Georgina asked. Lisa glanced up. She really was gorgeous. Blonde ringlets framed her face, and her cheeks were starkly rosy against her pale complexion.

“I wanted to know if you’ve started your Charms assignment yet,” Lisa said. “It’s due next Thursday.”

“No,” Georgina said shortly, removing herself from Sally-Anne’s arms. She lounged next to Lisa, close enough that Lisa could practically hear her breathing. “I don’t care.” She stretched out, and plopped her head in Lisa’s lap. Lisa froze. Georgina’s head. In her lap. It had happened before, but it still made her insides go all tight. She couldn’t explain it.

“Georgina,” she said, doing her best to make her voice soft. Mainly, it went quiet. Sally-Anne always told her she had to work on making her voice sound soft and pretty, otherwise people thought she was angry, but to Lisa, everything just sounded like a voice. It was only whether it was quieter or louder. “You must care. You can’t waste your life for a boy. You have to let go.”

Georgina sat upright. Lisa’s thighs tingled from where her head had rested. “How am I supposed to let go of him?” Lisa blinked, and thought about this. She’d never dated anyone before. She’d only ever liked one person, in that way. But Georgina had dated loads of people. Maybe that was it. She opened her mouth to respond. 

“Say goodbye,” said Sally-Anne. “See the back of him and be glad for it. We can get your things together, things you have that remind you of him, and bury them on the grounds.” Lisa shut her mouth, eyebrows knitting together. She tilted her head to one side.

“Like a funeral?” Lisa asked.

“I suppose so,” Sally-Anne said. “A funeral for the relationship.”

“Because our love is dead,” Georgina said, wringing her hands together. 

The three of them returned to the Ravenclaw Common Room. Georgina kept her head down, occasionally wiping a stray tear from her cheeks. Sally-Anne hooked her arm around Lisa’s.

“You’re being funny,” Sally-Anne whispered. Lisa stared. Was she being funny? She’d just been walking.

“Sorry,” Lisa said. It was the right thing to say. Her mum had always told her to say ‘sorry’ if she didn’t know what else to say. Nobody could be upset at you for apologising. 

“You have to think of Georgina’s feelings, not yours,” Sally-Anne said.

“I am thinking of Georgina’s feelings.” Lisa thought about them an awful lot. Particularly, trying to figure out what they were. About her. She was in love, reportedly, with Roger. She and Lisa were friends. They shared a dormitory. They spent lots of time together. But what did that  _ mean?  _ She wished Georgina was the sort to keep a diary, so she could read it and find out what she thought. 

“Lisa,” Sally-Anne said, and then sighed. 

“Yes?”

“Just. Everyone needs to let go of things. You included. I don’t mean it in a bad way, but - just. Think about it, Lisa.” Sally-Anne withdrew her arm.

Lisa watched as she went to whisper to Georgina about something. What did she have to let go of? Georgina fiddled with the ringlets of her hair. She looked like a painting. If she had been, Lisa would’ve framed her in gold and hung her in a dining room, where all the guests of the house could see. She watched her curls bobble as Sally-Anne answered the riddle with confidence - it was something easy. Then they got to the task of gathering the remnants of Georgina’s ill-fated romance with Roger. Lisa hunted through the bathroom, while Sally-Anne slid under the bed, and Georgina went through her trunk. The cupboard mainly held various hair products, mousses and gels and potions and rollers and clips. What was she holding on to? Literally, a stolen cologne bottle, that vaguely reeked of the stuff Roger had layered himself in whenever he whisked Georgina away to Madam Puddifoot’s. But figuratively? How was she supposed to know? A photograph of Daphne Greengrass was stashed beneath a vial of something blue, cut out from the Slytherin class photo from the year before. A large, red ‘X’ painted in lipstick covered her face. Lisa hadn’t really spoken to Daphne before. She wondered what Georgina had against her.

“Put it in here,” Sally-Anne directed, when she returned. They were filling a heart-shaped tin, once used for chocolates. A handful of photographs went in, and a wilted flower, and a ribbon, and a few receipts, and then the cologne. Then Georgina wailed and ran to her bedside table, returning with scraps of parchment. Lisa read one from where it sat, balanced atop the cologne. ‘ _ I bet. I’ve done it loads, but it’ll be better with you. Have you done it before?- R.’  _

“Have you done what?” Lisa asked, looking at Georgina.

“What?” she asked.

“The note,” Lisa said. Georgina stared, so she pointed at the tin. 

“Helga! That’s  _ private,  _ Li!” She dropped to her knees and jammed the lid on, smacking it a few times in its middle to make sure it stayed. The pink lid was already dented, and pieces of silver were visible beneath the chipped paint. Sally-Anne kept looking at Lisa, but she didn’t know why.  _ You included.  _ “I should put the lipstick in. The one I wore when we kissed.” Georgina ducked into the bathroom, and returned with the make-up. Lisa ended up having to pull the lid back off, because it got stuck. Her upper arms ached a little bit. 

“Is that it? You have to be sure,” Sally-Anne said. “And you can’t keep anything. You’ll keep being hung up on him, if you don’t.”

“We’ll be here for you,” said Lisa. “You don’t need Roger. You don’t need any boys.” They got on fine, just the three of them. Didn’t they? There was  _ something  _ behind Sally-Anne’s look, but she didn’t know what. Lisa never knew what. She felt stupid for it. A quill with parts of the feather chewed was the last to go in. It was the implement used to author the notes. Lisa wished she knew what Roger was asking about. What had he done loads of times? What did he want to know if Georgina had done? Surely not  _ that.  _ People their age didn’t do  _ that.  _ Or at least, not that she knew of. Did they? Should they be? Her eyes shut, for a moment, and she tried to imagine Georgina doing that. With him. It made her feel like she’d had too much milk, and the milk in question was a week off. 

Finally, they marched in their funeral procession of three to the grounds, finding a spot behind the Herbology greenhouses, where the earth was kept soft by hopeful first-years’ zealous overwatering. She was glad she’d changed from her good shoes to her trainers. Sally-Anne had procured gloves and could dig a small hole with just her hands. 

“Do you want to say a few words?” Sally-Anne asked, straightening up. Georgina’s eyes were glittering again, and Lisa put a hand on her arm. It was what you did for friends. She could feel the blonde’s heart racing, and pretended it didn’t send jolts of energy through her. 

“Dearest Roger,” Georgina said, her voice wobbling. “I really loved you. I thought we were going to get married and live in a fancy chateaux in France. It turns out you’ve never even been to France. And you dropped the special cup I made you, and it took time, and I even got Sally-Anne to paint it. Good riddance,” she said, and the tears began to roll down her face again. Lisa was sure there was bound to be a mudslide if the soil got any damper. 

“You were a bad boyfriend,” Lisa said, and reached down and grabbed a handful of earth with her bare hand. Immediately, she wished she hadn’t. It felt disgusting. The sludge stuck between her fingers. She dropped it onto the tin. 

“Are you letting go of him?” Sally-Anne asked, wrapping an arm around Georgina’s shoulders. Her eyes met Lisa’s, and Lisa looked away, her eyes stinging. Georgina whimpered.

“I’m trying to,” she said. “No, I am. I am letting go of him. Goodbye, Roger.”

“Sometimes, like that quote says, even if you love something, it’s best to let it go.” Sally moved between the both of them, and put her hand on Lisa’s shoulder. Lisa swallowed. What did she love? What did she need to let go of? 

  
Before she could think any more on the matter, Georgina turned and threw her arms around both of them. Lisa groaned, the sudden heat overwhelming. Then she felt the  _ thump-thump-thump  _ of Georgina’s heartbeat. She was right  _ there.  _ What did it matter if there was something she needed to let go of? At least it couldn’t be Georgina. Surely not.


End file.
